By Shannon Ashley
1. Turn off phone notifications for at least a few hours every day to write more clearly.
As a single mom with a 5-year-old, I frequently run into distractions. My daughter wants my attention all day, every day. My work around the house seems to never end.
Even with my mother moved out of my apartment, I have to perform certain tasks like grocery shopping or picking up her prescriptions. And when I run such errands, it takes time to get back into my writing groove.
There is only so much that I can do to minimize distractions at home, so I do everything I can to keep social media distractions at bay for a large chunk of time while I write. Yes, I’m typically still interrupted every few minutes over here. No, that’s not an exaggeration.
If I responded to messages and emails all day, I would never get any writing done. I can't spend all day in Facebook groups. And now you know why I often go MIA on messenger.
2. Commit to publishing a certain number of stories per week.
Every week I make a personal goal to keep publishing until I reach certain numbers for engagement. The number changes and sometimes I exceed my goals, but at the end of the day I know I’ve got a baseline to shoot for.
Having a baseline is a big deal for me because I am not a very structured person. All of the writing I accomplish is honestly the most “structured” aspect of my life.
3. Be honest about my fears, but don’t let those fears rule me.
I only began writing seriously (for myself as opposed to writing for other businesses) in the spring of 2018— so less than 2 years ago. What that means is I spent most of my life afraid to take a risk and pursue my dreams.
That’s a mistake I never want to make again. I know it’s only natural to have fears about my writing, my progress, and success. But I’m making a point to talk honestly about those fears in a way to tackle them head on… rather than cowering away in fear like a cat with her tail between her legs.
4. Write only about the topics that deeply matter to me.
Believe it or not, but when I write, I am not pandering to any audience. I decided 18 months ago to only write stories I genuinely believe in.Somebody once mentioned that they wished I wasn’t a feminist so they could read more of my work. Seriously.
You know, I’ve never said to anyone that I wish they weren’t a Christian (or anything else) so I could read more of their work. Likewise, I’ve never told anyone that I wish they had principles so they could understand what I write.
The reality is that I’m a single mom, feminist, exvangelical writer. A lot of people aren’t going to like me or my opinions, but my job is all about writing stories I believe in. Hopefully, plenty of readers will believe in my work too.
5. When in doubt, focus on the type of writer I want to be.
Sometimes, I have reservations about writing a certain story. Should I really discuss my earnings from writing? Do I want people to know that a literary agent turned her nose up at my book ideas?
When I run into questions about whether or not I should really share something in particular, I consider what kind of writer I want to be. I feel funny saying it outside of my own head, but I want to be a writer who is a force of nature. Unflappable.
That means my honesty is everything. And sometimes, I’m going to seem pretty naive to veteran writers. I’m sure I am naive. I’ve started my writing career determined to forge my own path even if that means going against the safe or normal.
Do I care if I get side eye or even “blacklisted” in the publishing world because I reveal too much? Not really. I’d rather be an honest writer with the freedom to talk about the things too many people keep inside. And that doesn’t mean other writers aren’t honest — it’s just that limiting my voice to avoid certain topics would be dishonest for me.
6. Write down every idea that excites me.
Even if an idea that excites me today doesn’t do anything for me tomorrow, that doesn’t mean it won’t be the right idea next month or next week. Every idea is worth noting simply because I never know how it might grow.
When you’re a writer, some ideas need to percolate before they can be worthy of a full story. There’s nothing wrong with letting some ideas steep.
Every once in a while, I’ll call on an idea that’s been sitting in my drafts folder for a long time. Maybe it doesn’t seem 100 percent ready, but I’m ready to let it move on. I’m not so picky that I demand perfection from myself. Or anyone.
7. Follow truth through “writer’s block.”
Okay, so I don’t actually believe in writer’s block. But there are definitely times when writing feels really tough. Maybe I feel uninspired or unmotivated to write.
Not too long ago, I read a quote about how asking yourself what would be “truer” to write helps crush writer’s block, and I do think that works. I like that advice so much that I’ve been regularly asking myself “what is true” to craft my best stories.
8. Check stats no more than 3 times a day.
Ugh. Checking stats is the worst. I’m much happier when I forget about my stats altogether. It’s not like refreshing the page is doing anything for me.
I’m convinced that checking my stats once a day is optimal. I can set some goals that way, but not feel so bound by the numbers.
9. Call out rude comments for what they are.
Clearly, I get a lot of wonderful comments. But I get a lot of shitty ones too. Comments which basically reinforce the need for feminism, exvangelicalism, or any other issue I cover.
I get a lot of men who like to mansplain my own experiences to me and I quit ignoring them because I feel pressure to hold my tongue. Now, when I feel like it, I call them out for their negativity and ridiculousness. Of course, sometimes I ignore those cruel comments too.
These days, I do what feels right. And sometimes, that means speaking out.
I just figure that if these guys want to use the excuse that a writer is subject to criticism for putting their thoughts online, they’re just as subject for posting their hatred online.
10. Lean into positivity. Lean in hard.
All that to say that this entire writing endeavor is running on hopes and the whole concept that "stranger things have happened." I have a choice to believe in the worst-case scenario, or give myself permission to hope for something good.
So far, all of my hopes and positive thoughts have led to a much better outcome than I ever imagined. My strenuous writing habit is changing me and my whole life.
It’s not that I never get down in the dumps — I do. But I also lean very hardinto positivity every time that happens. Look, I already know how bad this world can be. I’ve been in the thick of it. And looking for the silver lining in life has done a helluva lot more good than harm.
Leaning into positivity is what moved me past earning peanuts and finally over to earning a decent living. It's what gives me courage to take real action rather than simply dream without doing the work.
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